


Feel It

by Amberina



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-10
Updated: 2003-07-10
Packaged: 2017-10-23 10:30:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberina/pseuds/Amberina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All he has to do is make her feel it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feel It

Over and over, they're going in circles, and he's bloody well dizzy by now. She wants him and then she doesn't, she wants to get lost and then oh how she wants to be found. He wishes she'd make up her mind.

But she knows, she *knows* he'll be there, he'll always be there, when she comes crawling back. And oh she always comes crawling back, wanting to be hurt, and he obliges. He's considerate like that.

It's no secret that she likes how he makes her feel, demeaned and dirty. He doesn't really want to make her feel like that, but she wants it, she needs it, and he provides.

Sometimes he wishes they could start over, sometimes he wishes tbat it were possible for them to make love. Sometimes he wishes she loved him. But it didn't matter, none of that mattered when she showed up at his crypt, her eyes downcast and a darkness hanging over her soul, wanting him to hurt her, to use her.

He wants to tell her to leave. He never will. Because she's Buffy - and anytime she wants him, anyway she wants him, she will have him.

Sometimes he tells himself that he's not going to allow it, that he's not going to do those things to her, that he's not going to be with her at all if she wants it like that. He thinks these things when he's alone and by the time she comes to him, he's forgotten.

The shadows dance across her naked skin and his heart and his mind and every bit of goodness he has - granted it's not much, but he has some goodness, you know - cease to matter. It's about Buffy and giving her what she wants. A fuck, pain, punishment, feeling.

Feeling. Hate, disgust, searing pain in places that should never hurt, that's all she's feeling. That's what he makes her feel. All he ever wanted to do was love her.

Sometimes he fantasizes about making her love him. About making her feel something else. He wants her to feel it, to feel it in a way that she hasn't. He wants to make her feel it.

If only he could make her feel it, it would be okay. He wouldn't feel like such a wanker, and she'd be his, truly his.

All he has to do is make her feel it.


End file.
